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FUN A DAY 2019 #9: Donna

It didn’t feel like an overstatement to call her perfect, the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife and mom. She’d been a model student, and grown up to be a model employee and more...

It didn’t feel like an overstatement to call her perfect, the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife and mom. She’d been a model student, and grown up to be a model employee and (effective) head of household. Academic work came easily to her, and music and science in particular held her attention. She easily and enthusiastically earned straight As, and then admission to and a degree from one of the most prestigious computer science programs in the country. She was cute, and also incredibly pretty, in the non-threatening way so many men seemed to prefer, she liked to socialize (read: drink and smoke), she was surprisingly wild in bed. She was sensitive, attentive, a practical and consistent partner and parent. She made balancing it all look effortless.
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But it apparently wasn’t enough for her to be perfect. The thing with her was that she also expected you to be perfect, to rise to her level, or at least make a heartfelt effort. What she actually expected, or rather wanted: for you to do your fair share, of the chores, the emotional work, the unglamorous bookkeeping tasks, whatever it was that it took to make your relationship functional. People, especially the ones closest to her, took it personally; they felt her resentment, which she attempted and failed to conceal. She struggled to deal with her own frustration, the disappointment and hurt of not feeling and often not being valued. But she knew, on some level, that she deserved people who were as dedicated as she was.
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Which, of course she did, but it took her a long time to actually believe that she deserved all the things that she wanted so badly and had worked so hard for, and even longer to realize that she deserved the things she wanted most — love, companionship, fulfillment — not because she was perfect or had worked so hard to be perfect but because we all deserve and need that. She’d finally realized: ‘I mean, why else are we all here?’ And after that, her life began to change, and for the better, at an astonishing speed. She’d cried her tears, for the mistakes she’d made, the times she’d held back, the people she’d hurt when she’d gone too far, everything and everyone she’d lost, and then she was able to get back to work.
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It took her even longer to begin to recover herself, but she managed to get herself back. While it might never feel like an overstatement to call her perfect, the better word to describe her had always been warm. She radiated warmth, without trying, and even when she tried not to. She wasn’t sentimental, or effusive, but she glowed with her own genuine interest in people and what they needed and wanted, like and disliked, worried about and looked forward to, kept and gave away. She listened purposefully, and she responded thoughtfully, but she was never overly serious. She was witty, charming (she could be a bit of a flirt), and both genuine and genuinely liked by both her friends and family and colleagues. She finally simply was herself, and it was much better than being ‘perfect’; she’d never actually wanted to be that, anyway.
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IMAGE SOURCE: https://www.amc.com/shows/halt-and-catch-fire/extras/halt-and-catch-fire-season-4-episodic-photos#/88 ...less

A playlist by
livelyandcolorful
7 tracks
  • 30min
  • 27
  • 3 months ago