Playmoss uses cookies. By using our services, you're agreeing to our Cookie Policy.

Get extra points

You seem to like this playlist. Share it using the “Share” button and get 300 extra points.

FUN A DAY 2019 #6: Legs

There was her height, and how she used it to intimidate both boys and grown men, and there was how she herself was often mistaken for a boy, because of her short, brown hair and loose, androgynous more...

There was her height, and how she used it to intimidate both boys and grown men, and there was how she herself was often mistaken for a boy, because of her short, brown hair and loose, androgynous clothes, which was exciting, though you didn’t yet know why it was exciting. There was her light, tan skin and misbehaving grin, that made you think of being a kid and spending all summer outside. But most of all, it was that she was irresistibly charismatic, and relentlessly defiant. She seemed so brave, and she looked at you, and she believed that you were brave too, that you were in this together, and so you wanted to be, and you were.
//
She was alert, thoughtful, she didn’t say much. Sometimes she would suddenly be more talkative, or really inquisitive, never sharing too much, always asking you questions about yourself and what you’d felt. She would mostly just sit close to you, and she would listen to you talk, and then she would look at you. She had this way of gazing at you that would suddenly create this intimacy between the two you, you barely knew what ‘emotional intimacy’ or any kind of closeness really was, you just knew that you were suddenly the most interesting and valued girl in the world. It wasn’t even that she made you ‘feel’ special or whatever, it wasn’t some kind of move or a planned thing, it was real.
//
But then, she would look away from you, she would retreat into herself, sometimes even just for a second. She would suddenly be far away, which wasn’t strange or bad or hurtful, but then you’d see it: this deadness in her eyes, this darkness. It wasn’t that there was suddenly nothing but deadness or darkness there, it was maybe just a corner, a shut door at the far end of a dark hallway, in a small but otherwise well-kept and house. It was chilling, and you couldn’t unsee it, even when she got close to you again.
//
She never lost her temper with you, only with the boys and grown men that harassed you both, that shut door opening and then closing again. It happened enough times for you to realize that she wasn’t brave, or not in the way you’d thought. She was fearless, which was to say that she was reckless, unafraid because she didn’t have much to lose. She was a teenage girl, but she wasn’t really; she was a drifter, an orphan, or really a throwaway, from what little she’d told you about her life, who was much older than she should have been. She was a living ghost. She was rootless in a way that you wouldn’t be able to perceive, much less appreciate, until you were much older, until years after she’d disappeared from your life. ...less

A playlist by
livelyandcolorful
7 tracks
  • 28min
  • 6
  • 6 months ago