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lilies are poison ; an oc mix

[spoilers for my fangan, warnings for stalking, murder & sex trafficking] she’s three, playing with a ball, laughing happily. her older sister is humming, smiling at her as she gets distracted, c more...

[spoilers for my fangan, warnings for stalking, murder & sex trafficking]

she’s three, playing with a ball, laughing happily. her older sister is humming, smiling at her as she gets distracted, chasing after a butterfly. her phone chimes, and she looks down, unnoticing on how her little sister runs off, chasing the bug she found. she loved bugs, loved how many different types there were. in front of her, a van pulls up, a nonscript man rolling down a window. “help,” he says, “i lost my dog!” and, well, her parents always taught her to help people, so she smiles up at the man and goes to help him find his dog. her birthdays tomorrow.

she’s four, and in a new place, scared and crying and missing her family. the strange men manhandle her, pushes and kisses her, and she feels gross. she doesn’t understand. she doesn’t understand what’s going on. where are her parents? where is her sister? she misses them. the men sneer and say they left her, because she was bad, because she didn’t listen. she doesn’t want to believe it, but why would they lie? why else would she be here if she didn’t do something wrong? her mouth always tastes salty, now a days.

she’s thirteen, losing track of the days, tears always dried on her face, and she’s sure this is hell, sure than she’ll never escape. she hates it, hates this life, hates these people, hates her faded memory of parents and a sister for letting this happen to her. she hates everything. why? why? why? she still doesn’t understand.

she’s fourteen, grabbing the hand that reaches for her hesitantly, as her hero smiles gently at her, calms her, hums lullabies her mother used to sing. something sparks in her dead heart, as she looks at this stranger who saved her. and then suddenly, she’s in a house of strangers, who laugh and smile and hug her, even if she’s stiff, who say “we never stopped looking for you, were so glad—” and all she can think is liars liars liars. still, she smiles and acts like she’s happy too, relearning rules, knowing that if she got something wrong, adults would lash out, bring her more pain, like they always did. and the police search for her savior, looking to arrest them, sneers of vigilantism, hate and scorn towards the one person who did something, who saved her, and she hates hates hates, these people who just let her rot.

she’s fifteen, following her love from a distance, swearing to protect them, snapping photos and hanging them on her walls, putting hairs into lockets and sewing knives into her sleeves. the bullies who killed her loves cat wind up dead, the very same way they carved up the animal, and she giggles, giggles, giggles. this world is cruel and rotten, and the only ones she can trust is herself and her love.

she’s sixteen, trapped in a killing game with her love, vowing once more to protect them, to make sure no harm comes to them, their savior, their angel. she’ll be their guardian, this time, this time. she smiles, cheery and bubbly even as distrust boils in her heart. everyone’s enemies, anyone can snap and kill, she won’t get close, but won’t draw their suspicions either. she lies about her talent, says she’s a paranormalist, and laughs kindly when someone says she doesn’t seem like the type. the only one she can count on is her love, the only one she can trust is her love, the only one who can make her feel anything other wariness and hate is her love. they’d never betray her, she knows, and it makes her heart sing.

(she’s sixteen, laughing as she cries, her loves heart caught between her teeth. hers, she wants to snarl, but everything has been a lie.)


picrew image made here:


A playlist by
32 tracks
  • 2hr 3min
  • 17
  • 7 months ago